Without Chemicals, Life Itself Would Be Impossible

The names have been changed to protect the innocent, and to comply with my employer's social media policy

The slogan in the post's title was actually used by Monsanto many years ago. I decided to revive it because without chemicals (performance-enhancing chemicals, that is), leading the company I work for in the Get Up and Ride Wisconsin cycling challenge would be impossible.

Because my chemically-injured body's first choice is always to shut down, I take three different medications throughout the day which are considered by any modern sports authority to be performance-enhancing, although only two of them can be detected by the tests currently in use. Keep in mind, this is just to get me back to an everyday level of functionality. If I ever donated my blood and it was given to a normal person his head would probably explode.

Still, I wonder if anyone at work knows they're being beaten by a man disabled by four different chronic and incurable medical conditions (even though I am fully ambulatory). I am a man who became this way by being poisoned, and who even to this day has all of those heavy metals and toxins in his system. Surely this would be a disadvantage, but I'm guessing all they can see is the miles.

I still have to take a great deal of precaution when riding the bike. I continue to wear respirators, I have to keep most of my skin covered up so it doesn't absorb everyday toxins in the air, and I avoid traffic and stick mostly to the bike paths. But it's nice to get out every once in a while and see what's going on around Madison.

Today I went on Madison's 2011 World Naked Bike Ride, fully clothed, for medical reasons. I figured since I had to wear clothes I'd put on a safety/reflective shirt, a bunch of flashing safety lights on my bike Sun Dog, and stay in the rear of the pack, to protect all of the naked riders in front of me.

The ride was a little smaller this year as opposed to last, partly due to Wisconsin's current political climate, but the public's response was truly amazing. As the ride went down State Street and around the farmer's market on the Capitol Square, a roar of applause, clapping, and laughter erupted as the ride went past. By virtue of riding in back of the pack, I witnessed a continuous wave of people running out into the street to take pictures of the group as it made its way further down the avenue. Some of these people even outran me and I was on a bike, although I was not pedaling very quickly at this point. Sometimes there would be 5-6 people shoulder to shoulder running behind the group like a football team's offensive line, just trying to catch up and get close enough to take a pic.

It was a good-natured form of protest, and it also added 9.8 miles to my miles biked total in the Get Up and Ride Wisconsin challenge.